Bedside conversations.

My favorite time of day has become bedtime.  WHAT?!! Did I seriously just say that? Yes.  I did.  The longest part of bedtime is getting the kids READY for bed.  However, after that stressful part is over, the magic begins.  I take a few minutes to cuddle with each child. As I cuddle, I of course tell them I love them and they return the affection. With my boys, I stroke their faces and often sing them their favorite song.  I ask them what their favorite part of the day was and they sometimes ask what we are doing the following day. My love grows for them tremendously during this time.  I'm not sure what it is about that time, but something happens.
Now, with KennaDee....I completely treasure the bedside conversations with her.  It is during this time that she expresses how she feels.  Her troubles at school.  Her fears.  Her concerns. I listen as I hold her tiny hand in mine.
Last night, she expressed to me how she feels alone at school sometimes because everyone likes Stephanie.  And how everyone wants to play with Stephanie.  How the kids play this game at recess and she doesn't know how to play so she always gets out first.  How she tries to initiate play with some of them but they always choose Stephanie over her.  She then started to compare herself to Stephanie.  I frantically was looking for words to say as I was a little dumbfounded that it's starting so early.  I helped her think of good qualities that she has and helped her think of someone that she feels good around.  She then told me of a good friend that always listens to her and always will play with her.  Her name is Noor.  Yes - the friend that called her after school. (see previous post.) I helped her realize how she feels with Noor.  She kept going back to Stephanie and then finally I gave her 2 choices.  I said, "KennaDee you have 2 choices.  You can continue to go to school, play with Stephanie and feel alone. OR you can choose to play with Noor and have fun and not worry about the others.  She looks at me, smiles, and says, "I choose the second one."

When she came home after school the following day, I asked her how her day was and she smiled, as she always does and replies, "good."  I always give her a few minutes before I try and dig deeper to see if she tells me anything else in detail.  She continued that her and Noor sat together today at lunch, played at recess, and sat together during library.  "I told her to call me, mom. Can she come over and play?" I didn't think she'd actually call.  I thought, again, that I would be calling her mom the next day.  Little did I know...... (see previous post.)

Anyhow - Bedside conversations is where our trust builds.  Bedside conversations is when we open up. Bedside conversations is when we grow together.  Bedside conversations are a time of reflection and growth. Bedside conversations are my favorite time of day.  It's priceless.

an unfamiliar phone number

About 4:00pm today, my phone rings.  It's an unfamiliar phone number, but nonetheless, it has a Virginia area code so I answer it.  It's an unfamiliar voice and he's staggering a little bit as if he is nervous and doesn't know exactly what to say.  He manages to get out, "Is there a KennaDee?  I s..l..o..w..l..y, said, "yes." He replied, "oh ok. She has a friend that wants to talk to her."  As I'm talking on the phone with this boy, KennaDee comes running down the stairs, "mom, who is it? Is it for me? Is it Noor?" Noor is a friend in class that she's become quite good friends with.  She told me a couple days ago that they exchanged phone numbers and they are going to hang out after school one day.  I didn't think much of it at the time.  I assumed I would be the one to call Noor's mom or Noor's mom would be the one to call me.  NOT NOOR HERSELF!
Previously to this phone call, I was deep in thought as I was catching up on some organizing.  After KennaDee took the phone and ran upstairs to her room....I could not get back into my zone.  I kept replaying what just happened in my head.  To some of you readers out there, you may be thinking what's the big idea.  Here it is.

SHE'S ONLY SEVEN YEARS OLD!!!!! I do not remember getting phone calls from friends in second grade.  Does it really happen that soon? My little girl is growing up and I am not ready for it.  The phone calls behind closed doors. My heart was pounding quickly. I debated on running upstairs myself to eavesdrop,  but is that the kind of mother I want to be?  What are they planning? What are they talking about? Sigh.  I had to come write my thoughts out or I would never be able to get back to my organizing.

I guess the positive part of this, is that the boy who was on the phone, was Noor's brother.  At least the phone call was a female friend and not a classmate of the opposite sex.  Right??

Tear.. Tear..

I just keep repeating to myself.... I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always..as long as I'm living, my baby she'll be.